St. Bridget of Sweden believed that Jesus said this to her:

"Be it known that the number of armed soldiers were 150; those who trailed Me while I was bound were 23. The executioners of justice were 83; the blows received on My head were 150; those on My stomach, 108; kicks on My shoulders, 80. I was led, bound with cords and by the hair, 24 times; spits in the face were 180; I was beaten on the body 6666 times; beaten on the head, 110 times. I was roughly pushed, and at 12 o’clock was lifted up by the hair; pricked with thorns and pulled by the beard 23 times; received 20 wounds on the head; thorns of marine junks, 72; pricks of thorns in the head, 110; mortal thorns in the forehead, 3. I was afterwards flogged and dressed as a mocked king; wounds in the Body, 1000. The soldiers who led Me to Calvary were 608; those who watched Me were 3, and those who mocked Me were 1008; the drops of Blood which I lost were 28,430."

wow. isn't this amazing? how Jesus suffered for all of us? how He experienced all these pains. how he was mocked. how he was tortured.. just to save me? just to save us?

and here we are. lost. impatient. angry. angry on what is happening with the world. angry with our very lives that God have saved. aren't we ashamed? aren't we the one to blame for everything that happened in this world. it's our fault. it's ours. very ours.

this good friday, as i contemplate and reflect how Jesus suffered and went on and on to calvary, i remember my own pains. i remember my own sufferings. i remember my own complaints.. and it doesn't even surpass the sufferings of Christ. i wasn't nailed on the cross.. i did not carry that heavy wood. and i still complain. now, i reflect and see that Christ has carried everything for me. from my deepest wounds to my lightest burdens. He carried everything.

He even carried me.

I once again saw how big and how deep is His love for us. We turn away but there He comes waiting for us. How great a God is he to offer His very life. to offer His very self for us.

Counting all the wounds that He has received for me is immeasurable manifestation of His love. I cannot doubt. I should not doubt. Because His love is everlasting.

I kneel and i pray.

Lord, pierce my heart into the foot of your cross. That I may not turn away from you ever again. Amen.