welcome to the quarter life crisis!
thank you, Jesus for this life. Amen!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
4:41 PM
4:41 PM
i felt like a little girl.
this morning. i woke up at around 6:56am. yes 6:56.. the exact time.. it was dark and gloomy. it has been raining all night here in kenya. until now as i wrote this entry, it has been raining outside this coffee shop called java house.. where im sipping my cup of their house coffee... as always, my favorite.
i woke up late. i promised God ill be awake by 6am.. and its im late.. i promised God ill talk to him at 6.. and im late. i promised ill pray. and im late.
so i did not bother to sleep anymore.. feeling guilty of what i have done. i'm sorry, jesus.. i guess i could not really wake up that morning.. yes, i slept late.. im sorry again.
as i do my daily morning prayers.. i got to my journal.. im practicing journal writing now every morning to begin my day and every night to end it... i felt like a little girl talking and writing to God without anything in mind... i feel like a child just asking him anything... without any sense.. i kept asking him a lot of questions like a little girl would ask.. about life. about anything..
and i did smile.. for i think God wants us to act that way.. His child.. His daughter.. God wants to be called Our Father.. God wants us to ask anything about life like a little child would.. wondering about the world.. wondering how this became that.. God wants us to be His children...
and as i continue to write.. and to pray... God continues to smile... like a Father who holds His child in His arms...
and God, i promised never to be late again... whew.. this is a big promise... okay, wake me up, Dad..... i love you.
this morning. i woke up at around 6:56am. yes 6:56.. the exact time.. it was dark and gloomy. it has been raining all night here in kenya. until now as i wrote this entry, it has been raining outside this coffee shop called java house.. where im sipping my cup of their house coffee... as always, my favorite.
i woke up late. i promised God ill be awake by 6am.. and its im late.. i promised God ill talk to him at 6.. and im late. i promised ill pray. and im late.
so i did not bother to sleep anymore.. feeling guilty of what i have done. i'm sorry, jesus.. i guess i could not really wake up that morning.. yes, i slept late.. im sorry again.
as i do my daily morning prayers.. i got to my journal.. im practicing journal writing now every morning to begin my day and every night to end it... i felt like a little girl talking and writing to God without anything in mind... i feel like a child just asking him anything... without any sense.. i kept asking him a lot of questions like a little girl would ask.. about life. about anything..
and i did smile.. for i think God wants us to act that way.. His child.. His daughter.. God wants to be called Our Father.. God wants us to ask anything about life like a little child would.. wondering about the world.. wondering how this became that.. God wants us to be His children...
and as i continue to write.. and to pray... God continues to smile... like a Father who holds His child in His arms...
and God, i promised never to be late again... whew.. this is a big promise... okay, wake me up, Dad..... i love you.
Friday, April 06, 2007
4:54 PM
4:54 PM
and on this cross....
wow. isn't this amazing? how Jesus suffered for all of us? how He experienced all these pains. how he was mocked. how he was tortured.. just to save me? just to save us?
and here we are. lost. impatient. angry. angry on what is happening with the world. angry with our very lives that God have saved. aren't we ashamed? aren't we the one to blame for everything that happened in this world. it's our fault. it's ours. very ours.
this good friday, as i contemplate and reflect how Jesus suffered and went on and on to calvary, i remember my own pains. i remember my own sufferings. i remember my own complaints.. and it doesn't even surpass the sufferings of Christ. i wasn't nailed on the cross.. i did not carry that heavy wood. and i still complain. now, i reflect and see that Christ has carried everything for me. from my deepest wounds to my lightest burdens. He carried everything.
He even carried me.
I once again saw how big and how deep is His love for us. We turn away but there He comes waiting for us. How great a God is he to offer His very life. to offer His very self for us.
Counting all the wounds that He has received for me is immeasurable manifestation of His love. I cannot doubt. I should not doubt. Because His love is everlasting.
I kneel and i pray.
Lord, pierce my heart into the foot of your cross. That I may not turn away from you ever again. Amen.
St. Bridget of
"Be it known that the number of armed soldiers were 150; those who trailed Me while I was bound were 23. The executioners of justice were 83; the blows received on My head were 150; those on My stomach, 108; kicks on My shoulders, 80. I was led, bound with cords and by the hair, 24 times; spits in the face were 180; I was beaten on the body 6666 times; beaten on the head, 110 times. I was roughly pushed, and at 12 o’clock was lifted up by the hair; pricked with thorns and pulled by the beard 23 times; received 20 wounds on the head; thorns of marine junks, 72; pricks of thorns in the head, 110; mortal thorns in the forehead, 3. I was afterwards flogged and dressed as a mocked king; wounds in the Body, 1000. The soldiers who led Me to
wow. isn't this amazing? how Jesus suffered for all of us? how He experienced all these pains. how he was mocked. how he was tortured.. just to save me? just to save us?
and here we are. lost. impatient. angry. angry on what is happening with the world. angry with our very lives that God have saved. aren't we ashamed? aren't we the one to blame for everything that happened in this world. it's our fault. it's ours. very ours.
this good friday, as i contemplate and reflect how Jesus suffered and went on and on to calvary, i remember my own pains. i remember my own sufferings. i remember my own complaints.. and it doesn't even surpass the sufferings of Christ. i wasn't nailed on the cross.. i did not carry that heavy wood. and i still complain. now, i reflect and see that Christ has carried everything for me. from my deepest wounds to my lightest burdens. He carried everything.
He even carried me.
I once again saw how big and how deep is His love for us. We turn away but there He comes waiting for us. How great a God is he to offer His very life. to offer His very self for us.
Counting all the wounds that He has received for me is immeasurable manifestation of His love. I cannot doubt. I should not doubt. Because His love is everlasting.
I kneel and i pray.
Lord, pierce my heart into the foot of your cross. That I may not turn away from you ever again. Amen.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
12:47 AM
12:47 AM
happy HEART
okay. happy heart for everyone. i guess thats the feeling we need everyday.
so here's some things that allows me to have a happy heart...
my simple joys.
okay. happy heart for everyone. i guess thats the feeling we need everyday.
so here's some things that allows me to have a happy heart...
my simple joys.
- africa. it always is.. and always will be... i feel that my being a missionary has been fulfilled here.. and it still is fulfilling everyday. risks. challenges. everything
- prison break. okay. ive been blogging about this for a dozen times.. i actually really love this series. the directing. the cast. the plot. everything.... and yeah, i love wentworth miller...
- ice cream.
- coffee. my all time favorite
- internet. another all time favorite
- everyday sms from my family. it made me smile. inspire me.
- my bed.
- java house fillet steak hot sub. whew. a new favorite.
- the yfcs of kenya high school.. i love these girls. saw Jesus' light in them. inspires me to serve more and love more.
- music and lyrics. yup, the movie...
- dreaming.. it's nice to wake up in the morning if you have dreamt of something great. yeah?
- Jesus. my all time buddy.