i heard this phrase a thousand times from different people.. and read it from different books.. and somehow i did not get the real meaning and the picture of it. to stop... and to smell the roses... how do we go about it? the life we are living so far is so fast-paced. so busy. people don't even give time to stop. pray. stop. pray. stop. pray.

we just go and live our crazy lives as if there is no tomorrow. we just go and go and go. we don't know how to appreciate the things around us. we do not know how to say "thanks" to the people who have done good to us. we even don't know how to love the unlovable. thinking of "loving unlovables" even make us sick to our stomachs. how can we love if they don't love us? how can we give if they don't give us? how can we share if no one shares with us? how can we laugh if everybody is crying?

then how can we see if we don't want to see?

we became blind. blinded by our own complaints.. by our own insecurities in life. by our own problems and concerns. blinded by our pride and our ego. we always like to be on top. on top of everyone else. we do not want to be humble. we do not want to be poor. we do not want to stay there at the bottom and appreciate the ones who are on top. we don't care. we just don't care. we stay our own way. live our own lives. don't care about the people around us. what they do doesn't matter.. as long as we, ourselves, is happy..

and this is what we think is right?

i'm trying to live my life as if i don't care.. but it seems that i can't.. living here in africa makes me care about others. maybe God is pushing me to care.. God is pushing me to carry on.. experiencing what others from below makes we want to care and help them up. i am as well full of complaints, full of pride and ego.. but then God is changing me. i know He is. i know He is molding us to be better persons.. and this mission? is not all about the work... it's all about God and me. both of us. He carries me.. and i let Him. He molds me and i let Him... (although sometimes i am asking Him why?)

i am full of fear.. yes, fear of a lot of things.. what will happen to me and to my life? but God assures.. God affirms.. that whatever is happening.. it is His will.. for me to learn how to live.. for me not to be blinded by all the things that happened to this world. for me to see the real beauty of life. His beauty. His amazingness.. His power and majesty... His awesome glory.

And we learn how to appreciate.. How to give thanks.. How to find the strength of others and use it to make us better persons.. How not to see the negative attitudes of one and consider his positive strengths to be usable. to be inspired. to go on... to live a life that is full of worth. and full of experiences to share to others.. full of stories to live by..

and we learn how to stop. and to smell the roses.

i live.