one thing i can say. God is placing me in His arms. i felt peaceful and just moved by His presence. i feel hopeful and have great expectations in this life that He has offered.
i don't know why i am here. i dont know how i came to be here.. but one thing again. i am in His arms. i cling to Him in every way. and believe the unbelievable. sometimes i just wonder on how i was made to rejoice in every pain. on how i was made to serve in every sorrow. on how i was made to love despite the hardships. in every way, i go to sleep remembering that God is just God. and believe in my wildest imagination that He will conquer all.
presently im at the mission house. alone. everybody is out evangelizing. and i wonder why i am here? why i am having this flu and fever? why? and one thing again came out in my mind and i believe that God has told me this. God wants me to be here. God wants be to be still. God wants me to rest. And God wants me to trust Him. To trust Him in all ways.
Being a missionary can really be painful. But the fruits that you'll see everytime is a fulfilling experience that God wants you to have. The joy that you'll experience is awesome that goes beyond any wildest dreams. Being a missionary is to obey. being a missionary is to be open to the leading of God to you. wherever that is. being a missionary is to suffer the pain and experience the joy. being a missionary is not easy. being a missionary is to learn how to love and to give oneself in every way.
giving all and giving everything that you can be. giving up is not an option. im not giving up but im just open to where God is leading me next. i continue to yearn for Him.. i continue to seek Him in all ways.. i continue to lean on Him.. and cling into His arms. and continue to enjoy each and every moment that God has offered and God has allowed me to experience. God gave me the world. and I accepted. God gave me my life.. and i lived. God gave me my job as a missionary and i obeyed.
let us continue to learn that each day, God gives us new discoveries. new life. and new heart. each day we learn how to love. we learn how to obey. and we learn who God is.. there is more to know about God. there is more to know how peaceful life is with Him. peaceful doesnt mean you dont have any concerns or problems in life. but being peaceful means that despite all the problems, you live.. you continue to live and believe that God is at your side. holding you in His arms.
so for now, i live each day with the longing of being with Him each minute. i continue to marvel at His creations. i continue to marvel on how He makes life peaceful for each and everyone. i continue to believe in His magical ways. because in Him alone magic can be found.
Dear Jesus,
keep us in your loving arms. live with us each day. i love you.
-------
Currently working on: CFC Africa Website redesign
New on the Gallery: Handmaids on Tour 2007 cool pics
Thursday, July 05, 2007
4:53 PM
4:53 PM
limitless love.
When God shows His love. it's limitless.
i don't know why i am so inspired to write this one. as of the moment i am having a hard time saving videos because the comp is not paying attention.. my family in the philippines are having financial problems. big financial problems. somehow i don't know what to think anymore or what to do.
but then.. in my mind. it just came out. God's love is limitless. We may not know how He does it. We may not know how He shows His love.
It's just His everyday word.
Limitless. No boundaries.. No limits.
His love is everlasting. God just continues to assure us each day that His love does not contain any limits. every second, every minute He sees us, He thinks of us. He allows us to experience pains and sufferings because this is to mold us to be His real sons and daughters.
I want to shout it to the world. God's love is limitless.
We may not know His plans. but each and everyday he reveals it with love. with passion. though it may hurt. but the reward is greater than what we are expecting.
I patiently wait.
His love is limitless.
everlasting.
When God shows His love. it's limitless.
i don't know why i am so inspired to write this one. as of the moment i am having a hard time saving videos because the comp is not paying attention.. my family in the philippines are having financial problems. big financial problems. somehow i don't know what to think anymore or what to do.
but then.. in my mind. it just came out. God's love is limitless. We may not know how He does it. We may not know how He shows His love.
It's just His everyday word.
Limitless. No boundaries.. No limits.
His love is everlasting. God just continues to assure us each day that His love does not contain any limits. every second, every minute He sees us, He thinks of us. He allows us to experience pains and sufferings because this is to mold us to be His real sons and daughters.
I want to shout it to the world. God's love is limitless.
We may not know His plans. but each and everyday he reveals it with love. with passion. though it may hurt. but the reward is greater than what we are expecting.
I patiently wait.
His love is limitless.
everlasting.
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
12:22 PM
12:22 PM
He is God.
there's nothing I can say more on how God will work in our lives as we continue to just trust and believe in Him.
It may be trouble in our lives, in our families, in our community.. in everything.. in our hearts...
but what's best is to continue to believe that He is God... GOD IS GOD and we are not. He has a purpose in everything.
So we appeal for everyone who reads this and to all your friends to join us in prayer for the intentions of our community, our families, our world.
Join us in praying 1000 Hail Mary's a day for the next 9 days.
Thank you.
there's nothing I can say more on how God will work in our lives as we continue to just trust and believe in Him.
It may be trouble in our lives, in our families, in our community.. in everything.. in our hearts...
but what's best is to continue to believe that He is God... GOD IS GOD and we are not. He has a purpose in everything.
So we appeal for everyone who reads this and to all your friends to join us in prayer for the intentions of our community, our families, our world.
Join us in praying 1000 Hail Mary's a day for the next 9 days.
Thank you.
Monday, June 25, 2007
3:36 AM
3:36 AM
coke. love this ad.
this is the best coke commercial ever. cute.
im a geek. yes i know.
this is the best coke commercial ever. cute.
im a geek. yes i know.
Thursday, June 21, 2007
12:43 AM
12:43 AM
long hair.
a product of not cutting it for a year and a half.
no hairdresser.
just leaving it like that.
i love jesus.
a product of not cutting it for a year and a half.
no hairdresser.
just leaving it like that.
i love jesus.
Monday, June 18, 2007
7:19 PM
7:19 PM
scribbling anything about life.
so somehow you can see a new header on this site. it kind of inspired me. that was done last night when everybody was asleep and i was up until 3am. doing some net surfing, visiting friends sites, reading, editing, updating.. even reading filipino showbiz news.. which is unlikely of me to surf the net for entertainment gossips.. haha it's kind of weird knowing that there are a lot of things happening in the philippines that i don't know.
sigh. people are really changing. breaking up. breaking apart. where is the meaning of a good relationship now? where is the effort of making things for the better? where is the love that everyone is talking about?
everybody wants to save the world but not doing anything on it. everybody has something to say but doesn't show actions.
sigh.
i was exchanging sms with my parents this afternoon. my dad was laughing at me for i texted a message with a wrong spelling. which is when i realized, it was actually funny. i was enjoying the exchange for it made me realize that love is the most basic and most important in our lives. our relationship with our families and our loved ones are very important. we have to make an effort to make it work.
and the most important of all. we have to anchor on to our God. to cling on Him. to believe that His love is working upon us.
so tomorrow. as i start my work. i should also start loving. first to do: love... .
and everything will fall into place.
i can't sleep. yes, im still up. surfing the net. no friends are online so im getting kinda bored. at this time its around 6:30am in the philippines. so probably everyone is still asleep or preparing to go to work. everybody here in the mission house is asleep as well.. except me!
it's kinda cold as well.. winter is coming very soon. whaaah..
am i making sense??? no im not! guess i have to sleep now.
zzzzz...... lol!
[more pics at the photo list]
so somehow you can see a new header on this site. it kind of inspired me. that was done last night when everybody was asleep and i was up until 3am. doing some net surfing, visiting friends sites, reading, editing, updating.. even reading filipino showbiz news.. which is unlikely of me to surf the net for entertainment gossips.. haha it's kind of weird knowing that there are a lot of things happening in the philippines that i don't know.
sigh. people are really changing. breaking up. breaking apart. where is the meaning of a good relationship now? where is the effort of making things for the better? where is the love that everyone is talking about?
everybody wants to save the world but not doing anything on it. everybody has something to say but doesn't show actions.
sigh.
i was exchanging sms with my parents this afternoon. my dad was laughing at me for i texted a message with a wrong spelling. which is when i realized, it was actually funny. i was enjoying the exchange for it made me realize that love is the most basic and most important in our lives. our relationship with our families and our loved ones are very important. we have to make an effort to make it work.
and the most important of all. we have to anchor on to our God. to cling on Him. to believe that His love is working upon us.
so tomorrow. as i start my work. i should also start loving. first to do: love... .
and everything will fall into place.
i can't sleep. yes, im still up. surfing the net. no friends are online so im getting kinda bored. at this time its around 6:30am in the philippines. so probably everyone is still asleep or preparing to go to work. everybody here in the mission house is asleep as well.. except me!
it's kinda cold as well.. winter is coming very soon. whaaah..
am i making sense??? no im not! guess i have to sleep now.
zzzzz...... lol!
[more pics at the photo list]
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
5:37 PM
5:37 PM
having coffee at the moment.
just sipping my coffee and thinking about life's moments.. my calling. my desires.. my life..
the life that God has given me.. the life that i have never imagined. the life that i had desired and God just fulfilled it. and though living could be challenging at times. a lot of trials. a lot of pains. a lot of challenges, problems, concerns.. trust me.. there's a lot that at times you'll feel crying and blurting out everything.... but you just have to remain silent and be still.. remain your trust in the Lord.. that in one way or another.. he will direct you to the real way.. direct you to places you've never imagined...
He will give you everything you need.
i pray. i surrender. you have my all, Lord. you have me...
i sip my coffee.... i love jesus.
[friends, sorry for not updating that much. a lot has been happening... and im sure it will bring God's goodness in all of us. keep praying.]
just sipping my coffee and thinking about life's moments.. my calling. my desires.. my life..
the life that God has given me.. the life that i have never imagined. the life that i had desired and God just fulfilled it. and though living could be challenging at times. a lot of trials. a lot of pains. a lot of challenges, problems, concerns.. trust me.. there's a lot that at times you'll feel crying and blurting out everything.... but you just have to remain silent and be still.. remain your trust in the Lord.. that in one way or another.. he will direct you to the real way.. direct you to places you've never imagined...
He will give you everything you need.
i pray. i surrender. you have my all, Lord. you have me...
i sip my coffee.... i love jesus.
[friends, sorry for not updating that much. a lot has been happening... and im sure it will bring God's goodness in all of us. keep praying.]
Saturday, May 26, 2007
5:17 PM
5:17 PM
Updates.
as CFC africa/kenya continues to ablaze and be on fire with the Lord.. here are some life-giving experiences and things that made my heart move more for the Lord... and for Africa.
more updates soon.
as CFC africa/kenya continues to ablaze and be on fire with the Lord.. here are some life-giving experiences and things that made my heart move more for the Lord... and for Africa.
- memorable moments with the Lord. as usual, my bestfriend in heaven always gives me these unusual moments and times that just allowed me to wonder and be amaze on how forgiving and great He is. These are not the miraculous things that are so unusual that could make you jump or fly or just ride a roller coaster because of fear. but these are the moments when you simply spend your day in a sfc household and just couldn't help but shed a tear (although the group did not see), because you have seen the love. you have seen how magnificent the work of God here in africa. and that simple household meeting have said it all. that God could radically change a family and renew the face of the earth. truly couples for christ community brings out the best in everyone. and brings out the love of Christ to others. i love cfc.
- missionaries. more missionaries come to africa. welcome to the new members of the east africa family: the escalonas.. who i could not help but admire their passion and their conviction to build their family here in kenya. truly, i salute you. and we are waiting for more missionaries to come here. let us set africa ablaze.
- CFC-YFC Kenya Girls highschool. these girls are amazing. truly fully committed to loving the Lord. coming there every assembly just keeps my heart beating for more. they made me see jesus in them in a very simple way. by being their friend and their elder sister makes everyday bright.
- CFC-KFC Kenya. my delight :)
- YFC Kenya. my joy :)
- updating cfc africa website. just receiving emails and news about what is happening in each and every african country wants me to move more and learn new things on how to make the website more exciting and informative to all. (although our computer broke down. can't complain.. since God make ways for us to update... and the comp is being fixed)
- doing what i love. just by being given the chance to design and help in making the cfc africa website is the opportunity of a lifetime. videos for the Lord. learning to take good pictures for God. i don't have my own laptop, i don't have a video cam, i don't even have my own digital camera. but God just provides me the opportunity to learn and do what I love for Him. see how great He is. here are some playing around pics.
- sfc/yfc/kfc 300. our goal. our vision. in one year. there will be 300 active members of each ministry. very exciting. giving our all for the goal.
- africa ablaze. sfc glf 2008. all about africa.
more updates soon.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
12:35 AM
12:35 AM
obey.
my heart is beating fast. racing like a raging bullet.
i felt that strong urge.. that call.. to glorify... that call to obey.
Obey. a strong word. Obey. a picture of surrendering. Obey. to abandon
as i write this short entry, my heart could not contain the fast beating. the excitement of the work that God has laid for all of us... for me. He is giving me a lot. a lot that i, even could not understand and organize on how to do it. it's just giving it all to Him. surrendering it all to Him.. Telling Him, God, this is your call... this is our shot to take. this is the moment that me and You will fight this battle. The battle that we know we will find victory, for we are together.. You are with me...
3 nights ago, i woke up in the middle of the night chilling. i had a dream that a big lion or a big cat was chasing me. it was so big and long.. growling. i could not even understand or see what kind of animal was it... i just woke up chilling.. and it took me time to sleep again. I got my rosary and prayed.. that's the time the chilling stopped... whew.
i believe that this is the moment to really pray a lot. pray hard. pray fervently. pray more. pray. we are facing one tough battle... we need God. and for God to be with us, we need to obey.
my heart is beating fast. like a raging bullet.
i pray.
my heart is beating fast. racing like a raging bullet.
i felt that strong urge.. that call.. to glorify... that call to obey.
Obey. a strong word. Obey. a picture of surrendering. Obey. to abandon
as i write this short entry, my heart could not contain the fast beating. the excitement of the work that God has laid for all of us... for me. He is giving me a lot. a lot that i, even could not understand and organize on how to do it. it's just giving it all to Him. surrendering it all to Him.. Telling Him, God, this is your call... this is our shot to take. this is the moment that me and You will fight this battle. The battle that we know we will find victory, for we are together.. You are with me...
3 nights ago, i woke up in the middle of the night chilling. i had a dream that a big lion or a big cat was chasing me. it was so big and long.. growling. i could not even understand or see what kind of animal was it... i just woke up chilling.. and it took me time to sleep again. I got my rosary and prayed.. that's the time the chilling stopped... whew.
i believe that this is the moment to really pray a lot. pray hard. pray fervently. pray more. pray. we are facing one tough battle... we need God. and for God to be with us, we need to obey.
my heart is beating fast. like a raging bullet.
i pray.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
9:37 AM
9:37 AM
mornings
I always like mornings here in
Thursday, April 26, 2007
10:37 PM
10:37 PM
25. sounds good..
welcome to the quarter life crisis!
thank you, Jesus for this life. Amen!
welcome to the quarter life crisis!
thank you, Jesus for this life. Amen!
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
4:41 PM
4:41 PM
i felt like a little girl.
this morning. i woke up at around 6:56am. yes 6:56.. the exact time.. it was dark and gloomy. it has been raining all night here in kenya. until now as i wrote this entry, it has been raining outside this coffee shop called java house.. where im sipping my cup of their house coffee... as always, my favorite.
i woke up late. i promised God ill be awake by 6am.. and its im late.. i promised God ill talk to him at 6.. and im late. i promised ill pray. and im late.
so i did not bother to sleep anymore.. feeling guilty of what i have done. i'm sorry, jesus.. i guess i could not really wake up that morning.. yes, i slept late.. im sorry again.
as i do my daily morning prayers.. i got to my journal.. im practicing journal writing now every morning to begin my day and every night to end it... i felt like a little girl talking and writing to God without anything in mind... i feel like a child just asking him anything... without any sense.. i kept asking him a lot of questions like a little girl would ask.. about life. about anything..
and i did smile.. for i think God wants us to act that way.. His child.. His daughter.. God wants to be called Our Father.. God wants us to ask anything about life like a little child would.. wondering about the world.. wondering how this became that.. God wants us to be His children...
and as i continue to write.. and to pray... God continues to smile... like a Father who holds His child in His arms...
and God, i promised never to be late again... whew.. this is a big promise... okay, wake me up, Dad..... i love you.
this morning. i woke up at around 6:56am. yes 6:56.. the exact time.. it was dark and gloomy. it has been raining all night here in kenya. until now as i wrote this entry, it has been raining outside this coffee shop called java house.. where im sipping my cup of their house coffee... as always, my favorite.
i woke up late. i promised God ill be awake by 6am.. and its im late.. i promised God ill talk to him at 6.. and im late. i promised ill pray. and im late.
so i did not bother to sleep anymore.. feeling guilty of what i have done. i'm sorry, jesus.. i guess i could not really wake up that morning.. yes, i slept late.. im sorry again.
as i do my daily morning prayers.. i got to my journal.. im practicing journal writing now every morning to begin my day and every night to end it... i felt like a little girl talking and writing to God without anything in mind... i feel like a child just asking him anything... without any sense.. i kept asking him a lot of questions like a little girl would ask.. about life. about anything..
and i did smile.. for i think God wants us to act that way.. His child.. His daughter.. God wants to be called Our Father.. God wants us to ask anything about life like a little child would.. wondering about the world.. wondering how this became that.. God wants us to be His children...
and as i continue to write.. and to pray... God continues to smile... like a Father who holds His child in His arms...
and God, i promised never to be late again... whew.. this is a big promise... okay, wake me up, Dad..... i love you.
Friday, April 06, 2007
4:54 PM
4:54 PM
and on this cross....
wow. isn't this amazing? how Jesus suffered for all of us? how He experienced all these pains. how he was mocked. how he was tortured.. just to save me? just to save us?
and here we are. lost. impatient. angry. angry on what is happening with the world. angry with our very lives that God have saved. aren't we ashamed? aren't we the one to blame for everything that happened in this world. it's our fault. it's ours. very ours.
this good friday, as i contemplate and reflect how Jesus suffered and went on and on to calvary, i remember my own pains. i remember my own sufferings. i remember my own complaints.. and it doesn't even surpass the sufferings of Christ. i wasn't nailed on the cross.. i did not carry that heavy wood. and i still complain. now, i reflect and see that Christ has carried everything for me. from my deepest wounds to my lightest burdens. He carried everything.
He even carried me.
I once again saw how big and how deep is His love for us. We turn away but there He comes waiting for us. How great a God is he to offer His very life. to offer His very self for us.
Counting all the wounds that He has received for me is immeasurable manifestation of His love. I cannot doubt. I should not doubt. Because His love is everlasting.
I kneel and i pray.
Lord, pierce my heart into the foot of your cross. That I may not turn away from you ever again. Amen.
St. Bridget of
"Be it known that the number of armed soldiers were 150; those who trailed Me while I was bound were 23. The executioners of justice were 83; the blows received on My head were 150; those on My stomach, 108; kicks on My shoulders, 80. I was led, bound with cords and by the hair, 24 times; spits in the face were 180; I was beaten on the body 6666 times; beaten on the head, 110 times. I was roughly pushed, and at 12 o’clock was lifted up by the hair; pricked with thorns and pulled by the beard 23 times; received 20 wounds on the head; thorns of marine junks, 72; pricks of thorns in the head, 110; mortal thorns in the forehead, 3. I was afterwards flogged and dressed as a mocked king; wounds in the Body, 1000. The soldiers who led Me to
wow. isn't this amazing? how Jesus suffered for all of us? how He experienced all these pains. how he was mocked. how he was tortured.. just to save me? just to save us?
and here we are. lost. impatient. angry. angry on what is happening with the world. angry with our very lives that God have saved. aren't we ashamed? aren't we the one to blame for everything that happened in this world. it's our fault. it's ours. very ours.
this good friday, as i contemplate and reflect how Jesus suffered and went on and on to calvary, i remember my own pains. i remember my own sufferings. i remember my own complaints.. and it doesn't even surpass the sufferings of Christ. i wasn't nailed on the cross.. i did not carry that heavy wood. and i still complain. now, i reflect and see that Christ has carried everything for me. from my deepest wounds to my lightest burdens. He carried everything.
He even carried me.
I once again saw how big and how deep is His love for us. We turn away but there He comes waiting for us. How great a God is he to offer His very life. to offer His very self for us.
Counting all the wounds that He has received for me is immeasurable manifestation of His love. I cannot doubt. I should not doubt. Because His love is everlasting.
I kneel and i pray.
Lord, pierce my heart into the foot of your cross. That I may not turn away from you ever again. Amen.
Wednesday, April 04, 2007
12:47 AM
12:47 AM
happy HEART
okay. happy heart for everyone. i guess thats the feeling we need everyday.
so here's some things that allows me to have a happy heart...
my simple joys.
okay. happy heart for everyone. i guess thats the feeling we need everyday.
so here's some things that allows me to have a happy heart...
my simple joys.
- africa. it always is.. and always will be... i feel that my being a missionary has been fulfilled here.. and it still is fulfilling everyday. risks. challenges. everything
- prison break. okay. ive been blogging about this for a dozen times.. i actually really love this series. the directing. the cast. the plot. everything.... and yeah, i love wentworth miller...
- ice cream.
- coffee. my all time favorite
- internet. another all time favorite
- everyday sms from my family. it made me smile. inspire me.
- my bed.
- java house fillet steak hot sub. whew. a new favorite.
- the yfcs of kenya high school.. i love these girls. saw Jesus' light in them. inspires me to serve more and love more.
- music and lyrics. yup, the movie...
- dreaming.. it's nice to wake up in the morning if you have dreamt of something great. yeah?
- Jesus. my all time buddy.
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
1:52 PM
1:52 PM
how cute is that?
presenting......
my nephew ethanne asuncion. he's in the philippines so i have to get contented with the pics. :(
our angel at the mission house... malaika nebrao
cute little babies that could make my day.
pics... here are some from the week we became "busy" at the same time the week where God was loving us a lot!... a fun week full of HOPE.
presenting......
my nephew ethanne asuncion. he's in the philippines so i have to get contented with the pics. :(
our angel at the mission house... malaika nebrao
cute little babies that could make my day.
pics... here are some from the week we became "busy" at the same time the week where God was loving us a lot!... a fun week full of HOPE.
Monday, March 12, 2007
10:27 PM
10:27 PM
still... silent... renewed...
life can be more tricky and crazy as you go around on mission and decide to let go and let God. I often wonder what His big plans are, what His will for ourselves, what are the big and awesome adventure that He has promised.. and i wait patiently as that day of blessings will pour down to all of us.
i cannot just imagine on my own the wonders of God... it's so big and amazing as you think of His mighty plans working in your life... as you go and give your "yes" to Him.. letting Him control your life. as much as i can say, letting God take over your whole being.. despite the circumstances.. despite different situations we are in.. despite the hardships that we are encountering.. despite everything.. letting God... putting Him in control.
and we stay still..
still.. because we need to be patient.. still... we need to open up our hearts to Him... still.. just wait for the right time...
and we stay silent..
silent.. listening to His words... I learned this when we just had our silent retreat/recollection last sunday.. it was a day of being with God. being alone with Him.. literally... i have not been into silent retreats before.. i have felt that i am not up for that.. i cannot stay silent for a long time... but then God has just allowed me to be with Him.. and i allowed myself to be quiet with Him... to listen.. and i am amazed on how God has been knocking loudly in my very heart.. wanting me again to give my yes to Him.. wanting me again to listen as He speaks.. to be silent as He uses me in a lot of ways.. to be silent as He guides and directs my life. as He reveals His plan...
and we are renewed...
before that silent recollection we had our hope weekend... an echo on what have been done in baguio, philippines.... i was not there but God allowed me to experience it here in kenya. as we do all the preparations, i could here God speaking to me.. to continue to hope.. to hope beyond belief.. to hope that in all things, He will be glorified....
and knowing that hoping is not only us hoping in God... but also God hoping in us... it's a very touching statement hearing that God hopes in us... whew! that is quite a privilege..
a privilege.. and a gift....
life can be more tricky and crazy as you go around on mission and decide to let go and let God. I often wonder what His big plans are, what His will for ourselves, what are the big and awesome adventure that He has promised.. and i wait patiently as that day of blessings will pour down to all of us.
i cannot just imagine on my own the wonders of God... it's so big and amazing as you think of His mighty plans working in your life... as you go and give your "yes" to Him.. letting Him control your life. as much as i can say, letting God take over your whole being.. despite the circumstances.. despite different situations we are in.. despite the hardships that we are encountering.. despite everything.. letting God... putting Him in control.
and we stay still..
still.. because we need to be patient.. still... we need to open up our hearts to Him... still.. just wait for the right time...
and we stay silent..
silent.. listening to His words... I learned this when we just had our silent retreat/recollection last sunday.. it was a day of being with God. being alone with Him.. literally... i have not been into silent retreats before.. i have felt that i am not up for that.. i cannot stay silent for a long time... but then God has just allowed me to be with Him.. and i allowed myself to be quiet with Him... to listen.. and i am amazed on how God has been knocking loudly in my very heart.. wanting me again to give my yes to Him.. wanting me again to listen as He speaks.. to be silent as He uses me in a lot of ways.. to be silent as He guides and directs my life. as He reveals His plan...
and we are renewed...
before that silent recollection we had our hope weekend... an echo on what have been done in baguio, philippines.... i was not there but God allowed me to experience it here in kenya. as we do all the preparations, i could here God speaking to me.. to continue to hope.. to hope beyond belief.. to hope that in all things, He will be glorified....
and knowing that hoping is not only us hoping in God... but also God hoping in us... it's a very touching statement hearing that God hopes in us... whew! that is quite a privilege..
a privilege.. and a gift....
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
10:58 AM
10:58 AM
STOP.... and smell the roses
i heard this phrase a thousand times from different people.. and read it from different books.. and somehow i did not get the real meaning and the picture of it. to stop... and to smell the roses... how do we go about it? the life we are living so far is so fast-paced. so busy. people don't even give time to stop. pray. stop. pray. stop. pray.
we just go and live our crazy lives as if there is no tomorrow. we just go and go and go. we don't know how to appreciate the things around us. we do not know how to say "thanks" to the people who have done good to us. we even don't know how to love the unlovable. thinking of "loving unlovables" even make us sick to our stomachs. how can we love if they don't love us? how can we give if they don't give us? how can we share if no one shares with us? how can we laugh if everybody is crying?
then how can we see if we don't want to see?
we became blind. blinded by our own complaints.. by our own insecurities in life. by our own problems and concerns. blinded by our pride and our ego. we always like to be on top. on top of everyone else. we do not want to be humble. we do not want to be poor. we do not want to stay there at the bottom and appreciate the ones who are on top. we don't care. we just don't care. we stay our own way. live our own lives. don't care about the people around us. what they do doesn't matter.. as long as we, ourselves, is happy..
and this is what we think is right?
i'm trying to live my life as if i don't care.. but it seems that i can't.. living here in africa makes me care about others. maybe God is pushing me to care.. God is pushing me to carry on.. experiencing what others from below makes we want to care and help them up. i am as well full of complaints, full of pride and ego.. but then God is changing me. i know He is. i know He is molding us to be better persons.. and this mission? is not all about the work... it's all about God and me. both of us. He carries me.. and i let Him. He molds me and i let Him... (although sometimes i am asking Him why?)
i am full of fear.. yes, fear of a lot of things.. what will happen to me and to my life? but God assures.. God affirms.. that whatever is happening.. it is His will.. for me to learn how to live.. for me not to be blinded by all the things that happened to this world. for me to see the real beauty of life. His beauty. His amazingness.. His power and majesty... His awesome glory.
And we learn how to appreciate.. How to give thanks.. How to find the strength of others and use it to make us better persons.. How not to see the negative attitudes of one and consider his positive strengths to be usable. to be inspired. to go on... to live a life that is full of worth. and full of experiences to share to others.. full of stories to live by..
and we learn how to stop. and to smell the roses.
i live.
i heard this phrase a thousand times from different people.. and read it from different books.. and somehow i did not get the real meaning and the picture of it. to stop... and to smell the roses... how do we go about it? the life we are living so far is so fast-paced. so busy. people don't even give time to stop. pray. stop. pray. stop. pray.
we just go and live our crazy lives as if there is no tomorrow. we just go and go and go. we don't know how to appreciate the things around us. we do not know how to say "thanks" to the people who have done good to us. we even don't know how to love the unlovable. thinking of "loving unlovables" even make us sick to our stomachs. how can we love if they don't love us? how can we give if they don't give us? how can we share if no one shares with us? how can we laugh if everybody is crying?
then how can we see if we don't want to see?
we became blind. blinded by our own complaints.. by our own insecurities in life. by our own problems and concerns. blinded by our pride and our ego. we always like to be on top. on top of everyone else. we do not want to be humble. we do not want to be poor. we do not want to stay there at the bottom and appreciate the ones who are on top. we don't care. we just don't care. we stay our own way. live our own lives. don't care about the people around us. what they do doesn't matter.. as long as we, ourselves, is happy..
and this is what we think is right?
i'm trying to live my life as if i don't care.. but it seems that i can't.. living here in africa makes me care about others. maybe God is pushing me to care.. God is pushing me to carry on.. experiencing what others from below makes we want to care and help them up. i am as well full of complaints, full of pride and ego.. but then God is changing me. i know He is. i know He is molding us to be better persons.. and this mission? is not all about the work... it's all about God and me. both of us. He carries me.. and i let Him. He molds me and i let Him... (although sometimes i am asking Him why?)
i am full of fear.. yes, fear of a lot of things.. what will happen to me and to my life? but God assures.. God affirms.. that whatever is happening.. it is His will.. for me to learn how to live.. for me not to be blinded by all the things that happened to this world. for me to see the real beauty of life. His beauty. His amazingness.. His power and majesty... His awesome glory.
And we learn how to appreciate.. How to give thanks.. How to find the strength of others and use it to make us better persons.. How not to see the negative attitudes of one and consider his positive strengths to be usable. to be inspired. to go on... to live a life that is full of worth. and full of experiences to share to others.. full of stories to live by..
and we learn how to stop. and to smell the roses.
i live.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
7:31 AM
7:31 AM
my "big" little brother.
he has grown. and i miss him.
he has grown. and i miss him.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
10:47 AM
10:47 AM
fresh.
yesterday was valentines day. and what more beauty of that day can offer if you'd spend it with Christ.
i didnt have a date. i didnt have any romantic dinners or walk at the beach.
but I had fun. I had fun spending the time with God. just talking to Him every minute of the day is wonderful... being with Him thru other people is refreshing..
so here's for a valentines day gift..
fresh.
new.
enlightening.
glory.
i love Jesus!
yesterday was valentines day. and what more beauty of that day can offer if you'd spend it with Christ.
i didnt have a date. i didnt have any romantic dinners or walk at the beach.
but I had fun. I had fun spending the time with God. just talking to Him every minute of the day is wonderful... being with Him thru other people is refreshing..
so here's for a valentines day gift..
fresh.
new.
enlightening.
glory.
i love Jesus!
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
7:34 AM
7:34 AM
Happy Birthday Nanay!
For giving birth to me.
For your comforts.
For your early morning kisses and hugs.
For your detailed interviews.
For your dedication and love for us.
For loving tatay, jolo, and me.
For taking care of us.
For your strength.
For your guidance.
For your understanding.
For giving everything.
I may not say all the words that could describe how great a mother you are to me... I may not be there again to give you hugs and kisses on this special day... We may not be celebrating like we did before considering the situation we are in now...
But consider this...
This day is special. This day is for you. This day is the day you were created.
A day to thank God for the life that we had.
A day I thank God for giving you to me.
A day I thank God for giving me such a wonderful person.
A day I thank God for loving me because I have you.
This day is only for you, nay.
And I want you to know that tatay, jolo, and me loves you. forever.
hugs and kisses. i love you, mother!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
For your comforts.
For your early morning kisses and hugs.
For your detailed interviews.
For your dedication and love for us.
For loving tatay, jolo, and me.
For taking care of us.
For your strength.
For your guidance.
For your understanding.
For giving everything.
I may not say all the words that could describe how great a mother you are to me... I may not be there again to give you hugs and kisses on this special day... We may not be celebrating like we did before considering the situation we are in now...
But consider this...
This day is special. This day is for you. This day is the day you were created.
A day to thank God for the life that we had.
A day I thank God for giving you to me.
A day I thank God for giving me such a wonderful person.
A day I thank God for loving me because I have you.
This day is only for you, nay.
And I want you to know that tatay, jolo, and me loves you. forever.
hugs and kisses. i love you, mother!!!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Thursday, February 01, 2007
10:10 AM
10:10 AM
a great life.
Elena Ortigas
"my inday el"
January 31, 2007
May you rest in peace.
Jesus, accept inday el in your Heavenly Kingdom.
Amen.
never have i met a woman like her. she is the only one. the only one.
the one who inspires.
the one who sings.
the one who laughs with rhythm.
she is the only one.
the one who introduced me to sound of music and mary poppins.
the one who borrows my favorite supergirl movie when i was little.
the one who taught me how to sing "kataka taka".
the one who taught me how to play "chopsticks" in the piano.
the one who taught me how to play mahjong. haha.
the one who makes my hawaiian costumes.
the one who makes my birthday souvenirs.
the one who says someday, i will be a queen.
she is the only one.
the one who requests to make me a pork chicharon when i go to our place.
the one who makes sure i have a nice bed to sleep.
the one who never tires of giving me chocolate drink, pandesal, and butter for breakfast.
the one who laughs at every joke i make.
the one who appreciates every gift i give.
the one who buys me different things. from blouses to bags to slippers to ice cream.
the one who always listens to my stories eventhough how weird i am.
the one who shows my pictures to every visitors who visits at our house.
she is the only one.
the one who inspires me to be a missionary.
the one who encourages me to be strong.
the one who influenced me to become what i am today.
the one who taught me to love everyone.
the one who taught me to smile at every people no matter how sad you are.
she is the only one.
she brought happiness into each and everyone's life.
she brought happiness into mine.
thank you, inday el.
my prayers are always with you. i love you.
the one who inspires.
the one who sings.
the one who laughs with rhythm.
she is the only one.
the one who introduced me to sound of music and mary poppins.
the one who borrows my favorite supergirl movie when i was little.
the one who taught me how to sing "kataka taka".
the one who taught me how to play "chopsticks" in the piano.
the one who taught me how to play mahjong. haha.
the one who makes my hawaiian costumes.
the one who makes my birthday souvenirs.
the one who says someday, i will be a queen.
she is the only one.
the one who requests to make me a pork chicharon when i go to our place.
the one who makes sure i have a nice bed to sleep.
the one who never tires of giving me chocolate drink, pandesal, and butter for breakfast.
the one who laughs at every joke i make.
the one who appreciates every gift i give.
the one who buys me different things. from blouses to bags to slippers to ice cream.
the one who always listens to my stories eventhough how weird i am.
the one who shows my pictures to every visitors who visits at our house.
she is the only one.
the one who inspires me to be a missionary.
the one who encourages me to be strong.
the one who influenced me to become what i am today.
the one who taught me to love everyone.
the one who taught me to smile at every people no matter how sad you are.
she is the only one.
she brought happiness into each and everyone's life.
she brought happiness into mine.
thank you, inday el.
my prayers are always with you. i love you.
Elena Ortigas"my inday el"
January 31, 2007
May you rest in peace.
Jesus, accept inday el in your Heavenly Kingdom.
Amen.
Monday, January 29, 2007
7:26 PM
7:26 PM
since then.
i havent blog for a while. for the reasons of getting back here in tanzania.. no internet connection for a while at my host's house.. the heat... hmm as of now due to summer season, it's so hot here in dar es salaam that you just want to sit down and sleep.. so hot that you cannot stay even for an hour in town without sweating a lot.
but then...
i thank God for the little comforts that He gives me.
i havent blog for a while. for the reasons of getting back here in tanzania.. no internet connection for a while at my host's house.. the heat... hmm as of now due to summer season, it's so hot here in dar es salaam that you just want to sit down and sleep.. so hot that you cannot stay even for an hour in town without sweating a lot.
but then...
i thank God for the little comforts that He gives me.
- cable tv. E! and food channel keeps me sane..
- prison break. im totally addicted.
- computer. something i can play around with.
- camera. now that tz has a cfc camera.. there is another thing to play around with.
- sfc people.
Thursday, January 11, 2007
1:34 AM
1:34 AM
working mode again.
for the past few days i have wanted to write something that has meaning. something that i have been reflecting. something that i can share to you.. and thoughts and thoughts and thoughts came into my mind....
but then there comes these days that God can really become techy and wants me to work! haha.. so, whatever that is on my mind to write.... i'll do it later...
work mode.
sigh. and im loving it. thanks, Jesus!
for the past few days i have wanted to write something that has meaning. something that i have been reflecting. something that i can share to you.. and thoughts and thoughts and thoughts came into my mind....
but then there comes these days that God can really become techy and wants me to work! haha.. so, whatever that is on my mind to write.... i'll do it later...
work mode.
sigh. and im loving it. thanks, Jesus!
Saturday, December 30, 2006
5:04 PM
5:04 PM
new year. new life.
2 days before the new year. 2days before 2007. 2 days before a new life has to begin.
and i began to ponder. i began to think. i began to reflect. i began to recollect.
what has happened to me this 2006? memorable moments. happy thoughts. rain and shine. tears that fall. smiles that inspired. africa. mission. europe. glf. family. new friends. and the list goes on and on.....
i can say i did have a new life when 2006 came. i was sent to africa.. to another part of the world. i can probably really say to a different part of the world. i went to different countries that made me smile everytime i see a stamp on my passport... i was challenged. brought to greater heights. became stronger... my faith became real. God really made me see that faith and action goes together. words and character works side by side... God made sure that i always remember Him.
to trust Him everyday of my life.
of course i have those moments.... loneliness, fear, anger... and the list again goes on...
but God made me see that behind those "bad" moments.. there is joy. there is love. there is trust. there is faith.
and there is hope....
so i welcome 2007 with open arms..
i again welcome a new year.
welcome a new life.
welcome Him to make a better Me.
2 days before the new year. 2days before 2007. 2 days before a new life has to begin.
and i began to ponder. i began to think. i began to reflect. i began to recollect.
what has happened to me this 2006? memorable moments. happy thoughts. rain and shine. tears that fall. smiles that inspired. africa. mission. europe. glf. family. new friends. and the list goes on and on.....
i can say i did have a new life when 2006 came. i was sent to africa.. to another part of the world. i can probably really say to a different part of the world. i went to different countries that made me smile everytime i see a stamp on my passport... i was challenged. brought to greater heights. became stronger... my faith became real. God really made me see that faith and action goes together. words and character works side by side... God made sure that i always remember Him.
to trust Him everyday of my life.
of course i have those moments.... loneliness, fear, anger... and the list again goes on...
but God made me see that behind those "bad" moments.. there is joy. there is love. there is trust. there is faith.
and there is hope....
so i welcome 2007 with open arms..
i again welcome a new year.
welcome a new life.
welcome Him to make a better Me.